Brianssobriety Blog

Healing an injury takes time. Careful attention must be given to cleanliness. Wound dressings must be frequently changed. At times medication must be taken at regular intervals or even applied directly to the injured area. Some abrasions may be healed overnight with the application of ointment and a band-aid. Other more severe are better left to be treated by professionals, doctors specially trained in wound care. The common denominator between all, they must be treated in some manner.

The same is true with our problem of substance dependence. No matter what your vice, if left untreated, it can become a violent lesion festering with more infection and deeper pain than you ever imagined. And over time it can spread to those close to you. Unhealed wounds spread the same disease. If your addiction is not  dealt with, those closest to you, your husband or wife, your children or close friends will fall prey to the same demon that you battle with. It has been  proven over ands over again that children of alcoholics are more likely to become alcoholics themselves. So you see, that by curing your habit you can also free others close to you from becoming dependant.

 So where do I find healing?

I am glad you asked.

There are many who claim to offer therapeutic healing for addiction. What I am sharing is my personal experience.  The curative process of becoming free from addiction involves the whole being. Body, Mind and Soul.  

Jesus said in Luke 10:27 to “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind”

This verse completely covers body, mind and soul.

I believe the soul should come first. Just as God is a three-part being, The Father, Son and Holy Spirit, we too are a trio of being created into one. Body, mind and spirit. Obviously our spirit has been tarnished through our life choices and needs to be cleansed. The only redemption for the spirit man is through Jesus Christ who, being part of the Godhead took the sins of the world upon himself on the cross over 2000 years ago.

To free the body from addiction one must deny oneself the addictive substance. This may or may not involve professional care. Some of us have abused for long enough time that we need doctors care to free the body from substance abuse. If you need this help PLEASE do not hesitate to seek professional care. This step alone has proven deadly as the body is freed from the poisons.

Thirdly we deal with the mind. Years of thought process needs to be changed.

Romans 12:2 says,”Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

The brain needs to be reprogrammed. The only way I have found to do this is the same way it was programmed to start with. Perform the same activity over and over. Daily reading of the Bible and prayer. The more good you put in, the more bad that goes out. Make this your daily routine. Even when you don’t feel like it, DO IT! I’m sure there were days when you didn’t feel like being an addict but you did it anyway. Treat recovery the same way, with the same determination. And in so doing, God will bless you.

Now back to the soul for a minute. Redemption through Jesus Christ is a very simple process. Just ask. An earnest and straightforward prayer to God. Tell Him that you know you have messed things up. Tell Him that you honestly believe Christ died for you and was raised from the grave so that you could be forgiven. Tell Him that you accept Jesus into your heart. And ask Him to help you to live a life for Him free from addiction. Pray this prayer in Jesus Holy name, Amen.

With  that done, you have been reunited with God and are on your way to recovery. The soul has been freed from addiction. Now concentrate on the body and mind. If you need doctors care to free the body do not hesitate to get that help. Get yourself in a Bible believing and teaching church. Get baptized. And pray and read your Bible daily.

 My hearts desire and prayer is that all who suffer from dependance and addiction may find freedom through Jesus Christ. Blessings to all who read this. If you need some Christian guidance please leave me a comment and I will be more than happy to direct you on the right path.

 I’m sure you will all agree with me that change is difficult. Especially trying to alter what has been repeatedly embedded into your daily affairs for years. What I’m saying is, “Old habits die-hard.” I did not become a drug addict overnight. Nor did I turn into an alcoholic in one day. Quite the opposite. It was through repeated, daily abuse of these substances that I became captivated and obsessed both physically and mentally.

I am elated to share with you all that this month I celebrate 4 years of sobriety. That’s breaks down to 48 months or 208 weeks or 1460 days or 35,040 hours or 2,102,400 seconds. Those of you that wrestle with this demon know why I broke this down to seconds. Sometimes the struggle to abstain from your favorite pastime is a second by second battle. And sometimes I had to look at every second as a victory.

Breaking away from the old way of life was easier said than done. I repeatedly found myself on my knees telling God I was sorry once again. Begging for forgiveness. Pleading for the “super human” strength I needed.  Telling all my old friends that I didn’t do this or that anymore. Some would laugh at me. Others would give me a “more power to ya bro” and never be seen again. But I held tight to my commitment.

Out of the blue one day I ran across this verse in the Bible and it changed my life.

“Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead” Philippians 3:13

I realized that I was still hanging on to my past that I was trying so hard to put away. Even though I was boldly proclaiming that I was clean and sober, I found myself still trying to hang out in the same places and trying to fit in with the same old people. How could I possibly forget the past if I were still living in it?

With that in mind, I pose this question to you. Why does a car have a rear view mirror? The answer is obvious. To see what is behind you. A quick glance once in a while gives you a clear view of what’s behind you and where you have been. Unless you are backing up. In that case you better keep looking in that rear view so you can see where you are going. But I was not trying to go in reverse. I needed to “look forward to what lies ahead”. My epiphany gave me a newfound strength. I realized that the windshield is 20 times the size of the rear view mirror. So I can clearly see what lies ahead and on occasion take a momentary fleeting glimpse of what is behind.

So now I have a new view.”This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” (2 Corinthians 5:17) I had to put that old man down and start living my new life. I believe a funeral is in order. Procession, casket, gravestone, flowers, the whole nine yards. That way I can go back once a year and tell the old man who died I am still moving forward. I’ll take some flowers, leave them there, have a moment of remembrance and be on my way. Moving onward.

I hope you have been inspired by these words. If you feel that you need a new life, Christ is ready and willing to give you just that. Pray a very simple prayer and invite Jesus to give you a new life. Something like this,

“Lord Jesus, thank you for loving me. Thank you for showing me that I need you leading my life. Thank you for dying on the cross so I can be forgiven. Please forgive me and make me new. I receive you into my life as my Lord and Savior. Help me to live my new life for you! Help me to love and serve you with all my heart. In Jesus Holy name. AMEN”

If you have just given you life to Christ or just renewed your commitment to Him I share in your joy! You are on a road to complete recovery from addiction. God is with you now and His Holy Spirit is with you also to guide you in all truth and empower you for your daily life. Please pray everyday. Read the Bible every day. God only authored one book and it pleases Him immensely for you to read it. Find a church that preaches the Word of God. If needed search out a Christian counselor to give you guidance.

If you don’t know where to turn, please leave me a comment and I will be more than happy to give you some biblical christian direction. My prayer is for all addicts, no matter what the addiction, to find freedom through Christ Jesus and to live a healthy and fulfilled life that glorifies God Almighty.

August 10th 2011 marks 4 years of sobriety for me. All I can say is WOW! It’s been a rollercoaster ride of emotional and spiritual revolution. My eyes have been opened to a myriad of new thoughts, opinions and feelings.  I realize now that I had clouded my judgement for so many years in a haze of anger and denial. The fog that I kept around me was actually my hiding place. I could sink down deep into whatever my drug of choice at the time was or into sex or pornography or even masturbation and then it was all about me. No one or nothing else mattered. And I hid this way for many years. And when I say many years, I mean close to thirty years.

So my physical being was well fed through addiction but my spiritual person was starving. God created each and every one of us as an individual but more importantly He fashioned us as  more than just a life form. He gave all of us a living being inside that is our spiritual person. Since God is a spirit (John 4:24) He had to creature us as spiritual beings also or else there would be no way for us to communicate with Him.

When my time came, this spiritual man cried out to God for help. And I am here to tell you that God almighty, creator of all heaven and earth, was right there waiting, arms wide open with forgiveness and grace, and ready for me to join in the Family of Christ!

Now my problem was why would God take me? Why would He love me after all I have done?

The answer is plain and clear. LOVE! God loves me. God loves you. He loves all his creation. And He wants to be a part of His creation’s life. It’s up to us to let Him. And He paved the way for us to do just that. Christ Jesus.

So, what do I have to offer God? What can I possibly give to Him?

First off there is all my sin. God has to wash all that away first so that we can come to Him. Christ came and shed His blood so that you and I could be forgiven our many short comings. Secondly there was all my junk. I was an addict in so many ways. But God wants to take all that too. There is nothing that you can give to God that He won’t take from you, clean it up, make it all shiny and new and then give it back to you 10 times, 100 times or even 1,000 times better than it was! I gave Him alcohol, he gave me back sanity. I gave Him drug addiction, he gave me back the love of my children. I reluctantly gave Him my rebellion, He gave me back a good job. I presented to Him pornography, He gave me back self-worth. I offered to Him the sin of masturbation and in return He gave me spiritual fulfilment. I gave anger, He gave joy and peace. I offered my unforgiveness, in return I was forgiven. I gave Him my life, He gave me back everlasting life.

For every vile thing I could give to God, He had a perfect gift to give back.  Won’t you do the same? Even the things you think that no body could possibly want, give them to God. Christ will receive you just the way you are and give back to you more than you can ever imagine!

A simple prayer can do it. If God has spoken to you through this message and you are ready to make a decision to follow Jesus, pray a simple prayer like this. In your own words tell God,

I know I have done wrong by you God, and I want to make it right. I know that you love me. I know that you sent your only son Jesus Christ to die for me so that I can live. Please forgive me of all my short comings and the sins of my past. Please clean me up and give me a new start. Right now I receive you into my heart as Lord and Savior. Help me to love and serve you with all my being. In Jesus name I pray, amen.

If you just prayed that prayer for the first time or just renewed your vow to God, you are “born again”. (John 3:3) That means you have a brand new life with God. Please seek out a Bible preaching church, a Christian counselor and /or a pastor that can lead you and guide you in the right direction. Becoming a Christian is only the beginning of an exciting journey that will take you through this lifetime and into the next.

If you don’t know where to turn, please leave me a comment and I will be more than happy to give you some Christian guidance. God’s blessings to you all and my prayer is for freedom for all who suffer from addiction!

Our old friend Webster”s defines addiction as, “Being abnormally tolerant to and dependent on something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming (especially alcohol or narcotic drugs).” That’s a pretty good definition. A better one in my opinion is,”The point at which a person’s chemical usage causes repeated harmful consequences and the person is unable to stop using the drug of choice.” Medically the term implies that withdrawal will take place when the mood-changing chemical is removed from the body.

But why do we become addicted?

Some would say it’s genetic. “My dad or my mom was an addict so I have no choice” or “My family have been alcoholics from way back, I don’t know any other way.” Others claim they were done wrong and picked up their habit. A number of people claim they were hurt, disappointed or rejected and started their dependence to ease the pain. Still another group says they started into the path of compulsion just to fit in. And yet there is another faction of folks that were prescribed their drug and soon found themself addicted. And there are probably a hundred more reasons out there of why we use and abuse whatever our obsession may be. And as many are the reasons that there are different kinds of addiction. Drugs, alcohol, lying, pornography, gambling, over eating, cussing, smoking, fear … and that’s just scratching the surface! The list could go on and on.

The common denominator between all addicts, you can’t stop. Try as you may, maybe a day or two go by, maybe even weeks, months or years and we find ourself back at square one trying to defeat our demon again. And then there’s the guilt. What a dark tunnel that can be! So the story goes, to cover up the hurt and shame we turn to our old friend addiction for comfort.

Once we have sunken back into the mood and mind altering state long enough it becomes a behavioral pattern. An everyday part of life. We don’t even remember what it’s like to not be dependant. The more time spent in addiction we even lose sight of why we started. All we know is that it doesn’t injure us anymore. That pain, grief, hurt, disappointment or rejection, although it is very real, has been so well disguised that it’s almost as if it is gone. Covered up for so long that we can’t see it anymore.

But God can!!!

You see, even from the beginning of time when Adam and Eve ate the fruit they both knew they were not supposed to eat, they hid from God. (Genesis chapter 3) And so, just like Adam and Eve, we hide behind the source of our infatuation. We hide from our pain and we hide from God. But that’s the beauty of God. He already knows your pain.  He knows ALL!

“Come on now, let’s discuss this!” says the LORD. “Though your sins are bright red, they will become as white as snow. Though they are dark red, they will become as white as wool.” Isaiah 1:18. You see, God is open to hear your side of the story. Just talk to Him about it. He understands our humanness. He created us! You may even find what you’ve been trying so hard to run from and cover up.

Have a heart to heart with God. I promise that He will listen like no one else will! And in return He offers you salvation and freedom like you’ve never known before! While you are talking to God, invite Christ into your heart. He already died on the cross for you so that you don’t have to die in you addiction. Here is a simple prayer you can use to receive Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. It is only a suggested prayer. The exact wording doesn’t matter. What does matter is the attitude of your heart.

Lord Jesus, thank you for showing me how much I need you. Thank you for dying on the cross for me. Please forgive me all my failures and the sins of my past. Make me clean and help me start fresh with you. I receive you into my life as Lord and Savior. Help me to love and serve you with all my heart. Help me to overcome my addictions. In Jesus name I pray, AMEN

Now, doesn’t that feel much better. I strongly encourage you now to seek out a Bible believing church, Pastor or Christian counselor to help you on this newfound journey. If need be, find a Christian rehab and check yourself in. Believe me, we addicts need all the help and direction we can get.  My prayer for you is for freedom from whatever it is that has you bound and a new life through Christ Jesus our Lord.

If you don’t know where to turn, please leave me a comment and I will be more than happy to give you some Christian guidance. God’s blessings to you all and to the still suffering!

Me, myself and I are the three people who get me into more trouble! Every time I get selfish and think only of myself things just go terribly wrong. That was my problem for so many years. My philosophy was

“I’m gonna do what I want to do and I don’t care what you think about it  because it’s not about you it’s all about me.”

What an awful attitude! Now don’t get me wrong. I mean, there are times when you have to think of yourself. You have to shower and brush your teeth. Hygiene is a must!  You must do your laundry, you have to eat. Some self thought is inevitable. With that  established let’s get down to where I was headed. The very poor attitude that the world revolves around me. You see, a drug addict and alcoholic, even though some us functioned in society, has the idea that we could continue on the destructive path that we were on and expect different results than what we got. Getting high every day is NOT  conducive to the environment around you. Nor is drinking excessively, pornography, over eating, smoking or what ever your addiction may be. There is no benefit in these activities for anyone besides me, myself and I. There is no contributing to the outside world, no encouragement for your family, no benefits to your health, and no favorable looks from police or the court system. 

You see, the world does not revolve around me. It’s quite the opposite! Instead of me looking for what I can get out of the world I have learned to try to find what I can give back. In place of looking for a handout what can I offer. As an alternative to my escaping reality  I search out what is real.  And just as addiction took me searching daily for what I needed I now seek a place that is true and eternal. I’m on the path to inner peace with myself and those around me. The journey to forgive both myself and those who have wronged me.  The voyage to find pardon from those I have aggrieved, mistreated and offended.  Shoot y’all, I even had to tell God I was angry with Him. The magnificence of that was He heard my hearts cry, forgave me and consoled me. 

If you have read any of my previous blogs you will recall that one of my favorite Bible verses is Luke 9:23 “Then Jesus said to them all, ‘If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.'” This one verse has spoken volumes to me! In my search to get off drugs and alcohol I learned that I have to “DENY MYSELF.”  Now that I am in my 3rd year of sobriety I have become conscious to the fact that every day I have to accomplish this.  As Jesus put it, “take up your cross daily.”  Believe me, even after 3 years and some odd months, I have not forgotten how. Some days the urge to go to the liquor store and get me a bottle of whisky or go to the dope house still seem almost overpowering. But God is faithful! Just like He said He would be! “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”  James 4:7  When I make up my heart and mind that I will do the right thing if for no other reason than it’s the right thing to do, the desire eases up and soon it’s not even there anymore. 

That’s what it’s all about! Denying me, myself and I.

If you are reading this and are in your own state of addiction I offer you my prayer that you will cry out to God as I had to do. Believe me, addiction is bigger that you or I! It is a heart problem, a spiritual condition and a physical one. You may be able to deal with the physical aspect but the spiritual side must be dealt with also or the crisis will never go away. Cry out to God! He is there, He is real and He is alive. God has the strength that we lack. Start with making  a conscious decision that  you are on the wrong road, ask God to forgive you and ask Him for Jesus Christ to fill your heart and life. “If you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised  him from the dead, you will be saved.” Romans 10:9  Tell God your problem is larger than you are and you need His Divine help.

Now that you’ve done that please seek out a church, pastor or Christian counselor that can help you along your newfound road. Sobriety is a new journey for some of us and we need all the direction we can get!

If you don’t know where to turn please leave me a comment and I will direct you in the right direction!

God bless each and every one of you who share this struggle and my prayer for you is to accept Christ into you heart and for your continued sobriety!

February 5th gave me a bit of a scare. I thought I had the flu, tonsilitis or maybe strep throat at the worst. When I couldn’t get in to see my doctor, the next option was minor emergency care. I had a severe sore throat and low-grade fever. When I say severe I mean I couldn’t even swallow a drop of water. Well let me tell you, when the doctor walks in the room and from a distance, before examining you, remarks, “Holy cow!” you know you have a problem.

After blood work, a throat swab, X-ray, CT scan and some other device through my nose down to my throat I was told of a bacterial infection in my throat. A very serious infection that as just hours away from entering my bloodstream and sending me spiraling into a coma. From there I was told that death would have been just a short distance away.  What I thought to be minor turned into a hospital stay.

Just knowing I was close to death is a sobering thought. I mean, I’m ready to go spiritually because I know I am at peace with God. That’s my ticket home! But Physically I would like to believe that I am still needed here on earth. I like to think that I’m here to raise my son, support my daughter in her life decisions and possibly have some work to do here for my Lord Jesus. Some lives to impact and perhaps even lead some to the saving grace of God.

But I do realize just how fragile life is. At any given moment we can leave this earth and be destined to our eternity in one of two places. No one knows when he or she is going to die. Just as we have no idea when Jesus Christ is going to return to earth. Could be tomorrow, could be in the next second.

ARE YOU READY?

Our life here on earth is the shortest time period of our existence. We know that one day we all will die. But after death is an eternity. A perpetuity in either Heaven with God or in Hell with the Devil.

There are a lot of things that keep us from turning to Christ. I think that the largest obstacle is we like what we do. Whether it be drugs or alcohol or any other addiction we physically like it and don’t want to give it up. The Bible even says that there is pleasure in sin, FOR A SEASON. (Hebrews 11:25) If you are in that place where you can’t break free or just don’t want to, I am here to assure you that the gratification you are getting from whatever you are doing is only temporary. That’s why you have to search it out again tomorrow and the next day. I know, I was there! But there is a way out. You don’t have to continue on this path and you can break free.

The first step is to turn to your Creator. The one who formed you even before you were born. He understands that you are human and make mistakes and bad choices. He understands that your continued poor choices have gotten you physically addicted. But He still loves you and is waiting for you to turn to Him. Just talk to Him! Tell Him you are sorry for whatever it is you have done or are doing. Tell Him that you need His forgiveness for what you have done. Tell Him that you need His help because you can’t do this on your own. I promise you that He won’t turn his back on you or turn you away. Remember that God has already made a path for you to do this through His Son Jesus Christ!

Step two is to seek out a Christian counselor, a church, a pastor  or a Christian family member and tell them about your new decision. If your addiction requires medical attention there are Christian facilities to treat you and help you. Ask them to lead you in the right direction. God knows this is a life changing decision for an addict and that we need all the help we can get.

The third step is to get a Bible. It’s the only book God ever authored and he would be appreciative if you would read it. Pray before you read that God will open your eyes to see what it says, open your ears to hear what He says and to open your heart to receive the Word.

Step four, find a good Bible preaching and teaching church. Get yourself Baptized. Make new friends with people who are Christians. Find out for yourself that there is another life other than the one you have been living.

If you have just taken step one and are unsure where to turn please leave me a comment and I will direct you in the right direction! Nothing would make our Heavenly Father more happy than for you to turn to Him!

God bless each and every one of you who share this struggle and my prayer for you is to accept Christ into you heart and your continued sobriety!