U. S. NEWS recently stated that the distribution of porn in all the world has it’s heart in America.
I am writing this chapter in hopes that I can disseminate the lies that are distributed through pornographic material and open the eyes of you, the reader, to the dangers of even casual viewing of such material and the final outcome of morality as a result of this damaging subject matter.
First of all I want to give you a couple of statistics:
1987 more than 75 million people bought or rented XXX related material.
1992 490 million and in 1996 an astounding 665 million bought or rented XXX material. The number is no longer calculated in the United States because of the internet and the amount of free sites to view porn. Estimates and surveys today say that more than 40% of men visit a porn website daily. The percentage of women that daily view internet porn is rapidly increasing.
Society in our present day and age wants to dictate to us the views and morals of sexuality should be free to the individual. And in truth they are. Each person has the free choice to view or not to view porn. You are living in a time where the sexual moral standards are rapidly changing and the demoralization of men and women through porn is extensive.
Hollywood has jumped on the bus too. Rarely can you view a movie or television program without the interjection of sexual content. As for TV commercials, if you want to sell anything from chewing gum to food to automobiles, use sex or sexual innuendos and it will sell. We are bombarded daily, even hourly through all types of media from movies to TV to internet and social media with the sole idea that sex sells. Pop ups on your internet browser and sponsored links on your email present to you a visually appealing offer of happiness through the right person or partner. Don’t get me wrong. I am not advocating for or against dating sites. I honestly believe that legitimate, lifelong relationships can and do result from these web sites. I am, however, in favor of promoting an anti pornographic society. One where I nor my children are introduced to the ravaging mental and spiritual struggles associated with the viewing of inappropriate sexually inspired material. Whether it be in the form of what is considered today as “Prime Time Television” viewing, video games, Hollywood movies or on the cover of magazines at the checkout line of our local supermarket and convinience store. A culture where the social order is one of purity, morality, modesty and respect for others.
Pornography has given us exactly the opposite. Instead of seeing others as “created in the image of God” (Genesis 1:27) we have “changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever.” (Romans 1:25) We are created by a God who would have us “love one another” (John 13:34) instead of in “lust of the flesh” (1 John 2:16)
So… if you will allow, I would like to be transparent, truthful and real for the next couple of minutes of your time with me. I was addicted to porn. THERE, I SAID IT! My compulsion started at a very young age. Even before I really had any idea of what I was viewing. All I knew was that what was before my eyes was “Forbidden Fruit” and I was stimulated in some unexplainable way by it. As I grew older, I started to look at more illicit images and search out more fuel to arouse my obsession. Now this was all occurring in the late 70s to early 80s. We had no Internet then, so my viewing was restricted to magazines that I was now stealing from the local convenience store. At home I was abused by my Grandmother. Not sexually abused mind you. But physically and emotionally. This gave more energy to my compulsion to look at females as someone to release my aggressions on and sexually was the only way I could find. I was sort of shy and had been rejected for a few dates with girls I had crushes on, so, I returned to my own little fantasy world of porn and self-gratification. I realize now that I had become a compulsive masturbator and would indulge myself with images which I had stored in my memory at anytime I pleased. At home, in public, at work. I would find a few private minutes to oblige my infatuation and soon be back to my daily affairs. My increasing drug and alcohol habits gave more fuel to the fire and I was completely out of control.
The one thing about a porn addiction is that it can easily be concealed. It is a private fixation between you and your object of desire at the time. Or so it may seem. Physically it is as if you are just looking at an object and gratifying yourself. But there is another dimension present with us and within us that is injured and broken as we commit the lustful act. The spirit of man is joined also in the performance and takes on the sin of the flesh. And oh what a treacherous sin it is to be shackled to pornographic images that have been literally burned into your brain and haunt you even when you have resolved to repent and turn from your wicked ways.
Over and over I found myself begging God for forgiveness only to find myself once again taking just a peek at something unsuitable and soon be back in the demented dungeon of prohibited porn. I would cry tears of sorrow. I would beg for strength. And still I would return to my illicit world of fantasy. And that’s exactly what it is. A flight of the imagination taking you to a demented destination where nothing is real and untruths are the normative castle in the sky. These types of fantasy are truly damaging. Not only in our fantasy world but also to our real life relationships. We begin to seek out partners who can fulfill our improper desires. When one fails to do so we pitch them to the side and the hunt for another begins. In between partners the compulsion is fulfilled in the ever so comfortable pornographic world where fleshly desires are met at every whim. When the conquest of a new partner has been met a new and more challenging mission must be pursued. The delusion that satisfaction will be achieved pushed me deeper into my addiction.
Only when I found the life changing verses from Romans chapter 12 did I finally open my heart to the truth that God, through Jesus Christ and the power of The Holy Spirit could revive my old tired spirit and give me the peace and power I needed to overcome the adversary that had kept me bound for so many years.
And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. Romans 12:1,2 NLT
Still when I read this it breathes life into my soul. These words have become very much alive to me and they have literally changed my life.
You see, I had trashed my mind for so many years that I didn’t know any other way to think. But God was telling me that if I would present my body to him in a spiritual service of worship and NOT conform to the world’s set of values, morals, standards and principles then HE could do the work of changing the way I think. He would renew my mind!!!
I promise you this was a process, but it was a course of action that produced in me a new way to look at women. Instead of seeing them as sexual objects, God let me see them as His creation, made in His holy image and set here for good works. God led me into more scripture from The Holy Bible to help me see clearly how we are to think and act as decent, moral and respectable men. God showed me through His word that He is a gentleman and expects me to follow His lead. I have learned modesty and integrity. I carry propriety and decency with me everywhere I go. I am becoming more and more what God has intended for me. Not that I am perfect. Oh no, not close. (Philippians 3:12) But this I do know
God has united you with Christ Jesus. For our benefit God made him to be wisdom itself. Christ made us right with God; he made us pure and holy, and he freed us from sin. 1 Corinthians 1:30
So my friend, if you share in this struggle with pornography please know that there is hope. There is a blessed expectation through Christ Jesus our Lord. We have an eternal forgiveness, redemption and salvation and we have been made pure, holy and FREED FROM SIN!!!
If you have not made the decision to make Christ Jesus the Lord over your life please do not hesitate another minute. The peace of God awaits you. The forgiveness of sins is in store for you. The assurance of God’s divine love lies before you. He is not angry with you. He is not waiting for you to change or clean up your act. He has the simple request that you come to Him just as you are and confess to Him that you understand the deprived sinful state you are in and that you are helpless without Him.
Heavenly Father, I know that I have wronged you. I have done things that are inexcusable and even things that I would think unforgivable. I have sinned in every imaginable way against you and against others as well as myself. John 3:16 says that You sent your Son to die for me, for my sins so that I would not have to take that punishment of death for my transgressions against you. Right now Father God, I accept the blood of Christ as my remission of sin. I confess to you my sins. I confess Jesus Christ as my savior and I give my heart and life to You. From this day forward I turn from my own ways and give myself to you to seek out Your perfect and Holy will for my life. Please lead me and guide me daily. Give me a newfound desire for Your Word. Open my eyes to see, my ears to hear and my heart to accept the things you have for me. In Jesus name I pray, AMEN
Welcome to God’s family. As a child of God I encourage you to seek out a Bible believing and teaching church and to find new friends that share your new found faith. My prayer for you is that you grow and mature in your walk with Christ and that you life be filled with the Love, grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ!