Brianssobriety Blog

This acronym for “You Only Live Once” has become particularly popular in today’s school of thought. The idea that one should go all out with no thought for tomorrow or the consequences of one’s actions is not a newfound or original initiative. Almost as old as history itself I would imagine. I too held to this belief for many years. I had no consideration for others, no deliberation about my actions and certainly no reflection on what had been done. These processes of thought would take way too much time from my daily affair with self-preservation. My central focal point was “ME”. Careful attention and attentiveness had to be paid to my habits, dependence and cravings. I truly believed that my short time here on earth was all I would have and my goal was to search out and acquire every pleasure that was physically obtainable. “You Only Live Once” resonated within me.

The truth is, YOLO is accurate, to a certain degree. Humanity will only get one chance at our life here on earth. We are created in a fleshly dwelling to physically live and die one time. The difficulty with YOLO is the agnostic theory that when you die it all ends. The notion that there is no life after death is atheistic in belief and is the backbone behind the well liked and fashionable YOLO premise.

Even the Bible clearly states that there is a time to be born and a time to die.  (Ecclesiastes 3:2)  But what happens after bodily death? Is there really an afterlife or do I just return to dust? Well, I thought you would never ask!

Almost every religion worldwide supposes on an afterlife. Most obtain their doctrine of where you will stand in the post mortem are obtained through what you did here on earth. If your good outweighs the bad then you are granted a pass to enter into the here after. The spiritual world will welcome your soul into eternal rest. Some religions are pronounced with harems of virgins for those unblemished souls who were fortunate enough to perform up to standard. Still others believe that you can meditate you way into a consciousness and oneness with your Creator and thus gaining access through the doors of eternity. The conflict with these outlooks  and the YOLO standpoint is in the essential doctrine of how much good must one perform to obtain salvation.

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” John 14:6

There are many religions in the world. There are many people who follow each religion. There are many who claim no religion at all. And there are many who are following the YOLO philosophy,  not knowing that they have created a religion all their own.

YOLO’s approach gives no thought to afterlife. It also gives very little thought to life here on earth. The notion that you can do whatever you want with no consequences has been proven over and over again to be false. Go ask someone who is doing a life sentence in prison for intoxicated vehicular manslaughter or someone dying from HEP C because of intravenous drug use if they are paying the price for what they did here on earth. I think you know what they would say. They would tell you exactly where YOLO got them.

Another scripture for you:

Make no mistake about this: You can never make a fool out of God. Whatever you plant is what you’ll harvest. If you plant in [the soil of] your corrupt nature, you will harvest destruction. But if you plant in [the soil of] your spiritual nature, you will harvest everlasting life. Galations 6:7,8

There is a cost to be paid for every action.

So Brian, where do I go from here? I have done so much bad and I don’t want to reap the harvest of the seeds I have planted. If this is you, and you want to find freedom from the heaviness of the life you have created there is an answer.

My reaction to these questions was a heartfelt cry out to God as we know Him from the Bible. The only one that I know that could offer me more than peace of mind but could present to me salvation for my soul. Christ has promised us forgiveness of our sins, serenity for our soul, harmony with our Creator, strength when we are weak and an everlasting life with Him in Heaven.

An easy and effortless prayer can set you on the path to eternal and undying life with our Maker. If your hearts desire is to live not just in the moment of YOLO and make a positive change in your life, Jesus is your answer. If your desire is to break free from YOLO and have not been able to find the right path then Jesus is your way. If  you are left empty and craving more out of life than YOLO then Christ can fill you.  If your yearning is , “There has to be more to life than this” then Christ Jesus wants to complete you.

Please say this prayer with me. The words are not as important as the longing of your heart.

Heavenly Father, I have done things that I am not proud. I know I have done wrong in your sight. I want to find freedom from YOLO. Father, I ask you to forgive my wrongdoing through the blood of Christ who died for me. Wash me clean and give me a fresh start. Please help me to find the freedom I am searching for. I give my life to You God and I pray that you give me strength and show me the path that leads to everlasting life with You. Thank You Father. Through Christ Jesus my Lord and Savior I pray, AMEN

If you prayed that prayer from the heart for the first time or the fifty-first time I welcome you to the family of God. You are one of His children. You have just broken the grip of YOLO! And as a child of God you have certain unalienable rights such as eternal life with Him.

Chances are you may know someone who is a Christian. Seek this person out and tell them of your newfound faith. Tell them of your desire to serve the Living God. Find yourself a church and worship God in spirit and in truth. Get your hands on a Bible and let the Living Word began to transform your life by the renewing of your mind. And give thanks to God every time you think about Him. I promise that He is faithful and He will not let you down!

If you need some Christian guidance please feel free to leave a comment and I will do my best to point you in the right direction.

God loves you and so do I!

WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?.

Luke 10:21 At that time Jesus, full of joy through the Holy Spirit, said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure

The Bible and The Twelve Steps share an important characteristic:
They do not require that we are well-dressed, well groomed, scholarly or logical to understand their simple truths. To the contrary, over intellectualizing or over spiritualizing them can lead us to miss the truth altogether. Those who are “wise and learned” actually become aware of how little they do know. The less we know the easier we are taught. Children are in nature open to this concept.

Father God, I pray that you help us to have child like faith. Please help us to leave all of our preconceived ideas and thoughts at the door and be open to what you would have us learn. Open our ears to hear, eyes to see and our hearts to accept the truths you have for us. In Jesus name I pray, amen

A GENTLE WALK THROUGH THE 12 STEPS

Luke 9:23 and he said before everyone, “Whoever is willing to come after me, let him deny himself, let him take up his cross every day, and let him come after me.”

I want to break this down into four parts.

1. be willing to follow Jesus
Hopefully you have made a conscious decision to give your life to Christ. Each of us are as individual as our own fingerprint or the retina of your eye. Each of us have our own testimony of why and how we came to grace. Most likely no two are the same. But the bottom line is we are willing to follow Jesus. The first three steps are:

Step 1: “We admit that, in of ourselves we are powerless and unable to manage our own life.”
Step 2: “Came to believe that God, a Power greater than us, could restore us to sanity and stability.”
Step 3: “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as revealed in the Bible.”

When we come to Christ and admit that we are powerless to sin, and when we are honest about this, IT IS SIN, that is when He is able to step in and make a difference. That is when He can get involved with the authority, influence and strength that we lack in our self.

Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 2Cor 12:9 NLT

 This brings us to the next ingredient.

2. Deny yourself
It’s not about you. It is about Jesus! Self denial is not a popular subject. For some of us  it may be a new concept. The addict’s way of thinking is all about “ME”. If you break it down, sin is all about “ME”. And when it’s all about ME we become extremely selfish.

Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. James 1:14NLT

However innovative it may seem, denying yourself is essential to the growth of a healthy spiritual life with Christ. Although some have taken this to extreme I don’t believe this is about being a hobbit or living a monkish style life. But if it works for you…HEY…I don’t want to tell you that is wrong. This is however about giving up sin. It is about giving up those personal hidden sins that you and God are the only ones who know anything about.

instructing us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires and to live sensibly, righteously and godly in the present age, looking for the blessed hope and the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Christ Jesus, who gave Himself for us to redeem us from every lawless deed, and to purify for Himself a people for His own possession, zealous for good deeds. Titus 2:12-14

The next 6 steps cover the “denying of self”
Step 4: “Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.”
Step 5: “Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.”
Step 6: “Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.”
Step 7: “Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.”
Step 8: “Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.”
Step 9: “Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others”

All these steps will involve a huge amount of denying our self. The moral inventory alone will demand that you put yourself to the side and be honest. It  requires that you are brutally truthful and sincerely search yourself no matter how you feel about the nature of the moral issue. Once you have the inventory complete (mine is more like a catalog) confession can be made and forgiveness, where necessary, can be granted by God through the blood and grace of Jesus. All these steps truly take some self defiance. But when we ask God to “remove these shortcomings” we have to start to do some work. Remember that the flesh and the Spirit are at war with each other.

“Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give in to temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak!” Matthew 26:41NLT

This brings us to part 3.

3. Take up you cross every day
This involves sacrifice. Steps 6 and 7 are perfect examples of Jesus statement. When you get to work on your faults you have to “take up your cross daily.” It may get heavy, it may hurt. But Christ is there to help you. He promises that He will never leave you or forsake you.

“The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deut 31:8

The next 3 steps fall in here.
Step 10: “Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.”
Step 11: “Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as revealed in the Bible, praying for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.”
Step 12: “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.”

Continued is the key word. If we were to take just these three steps and practice them daily our quality of life would improve dramatically. Our relationships with God and others around us will flourish. Everyday interaction with people, even strangers, will become a way of sharing the good news that there is freedom from addiction and its needless entombment. Your dealings with life’s daily issues will have an innovative new outlook. These positive changes will help you in your recovery and give you new found strength to overpower many of the vices and triggers that previously prompted you toward dependence.
Pursue these steps in a continual, sustained, nonstop, unrelenting, persistent and unremitting line of attack. TAKE UP YOUR CROSS DAILY!
And the fourth part to this verse is:

4. Follow Jesus
How do we follow Jesus?
This is where the rubber meets the road. This is also where we begin to find freedom from our life controlling issues. This is where we discover independence from our obsessive, addictive and compulsive behaviors. And this is where it gets real personal. Every one of us has a personal relationship with Christ. With that being said, every one of us is at our own place with Jesus. Some further along than others. Some are stronger in certain areas. But this does not change the FACT that we are all children of God. When I was born again some of my old life habits went away right then and there. Some took a little more time. Still others God is continually working out of me.

Jesus replied, “The most important commandment is this: ‘Listen, O Israel! The LORD our God is the one and only LORD. And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, your entire mind, and all your strength. The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. No other commandment is greater than these.” Mark 12:29-31

So, it all boils down to LOVE!

Everything we do starts with a thought. Our thoughts become words and actions. Our language and the things we do label who we are. If you work on cars you are defined as a mechanic. If you use offensive vocabulary people tag you as foul-mouthed. People who drink too much get marked as drunks or alcoholics. Porn addicts get branded as perverts. But the bottom line is, no matter what marker you are marked with, it started with a thought. And thoughts begin in the brain, in your mind.

“I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord.” Romans 7:21-25 NLT 

This scripture was penned by Paul who wrote 13 books of the New Testament of the Bible. Obviously he had struggles with sin and was writing this truth from the heart. Two points I would like to key in on. He stated that the war starts in his mind. He had realized that when we entertain the wrong ideas in our mind we eventually sin. In my life I have found that my sins are generally dwelled on for some time before they get full-blown into sin.

“but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.” James 1:14,15

See what I mean. It takes some thinking to sin. So now what do we do about it? How do we regain control over this problem of sin?

I believe the answer lies no further than God’s written word, The Holy Bible. Looking back to what Paul wrote, “I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind.” Think about that. (no pun intended there) He also wrote this, from Romans 12:2,

 “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

My addictions did not start overnight. I made daily, conscious decisions to delve deeper into dependency. I’m not saying that there were not outside factors that fueled my decisions. I didn’t just wake up one day and decide I wanted to be a junkie (which is another label). It was my day in and day out pursuit of peace and pleasure that eventually led me into complete compulsion and obsession with drugs, alcohol, sex, porn, masturbation, lying, cheating, stealing, greed, co-dependancy and self degradation (that scratches the surface of my addictions. There were many, many more). But just as I choose for 30+years to be an addict, I now choose NOT to be an addict. It started with a pronouncement that I wanted to change. Next came my declaration, as Paul said, “The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord”.

A very simple prayer, I told God I couldn’t handle my life or my addiction anymore. I knew what I had been doing was wrong. I asked Him to forgive me. I asked Him to help me to leve my habits and cravings behind. And I asked if He would help me live for Him.And I asked in Jesus Holy Name!

And the process of renewal. I have to daily reprogram myself so that the old is gone and the new takes over. Some days it’s harder than others. If I don’t read the Bible every day, I find myself dwelling on things that I should not be thinking.

Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. Joshua 1:8

and again,

Study to show yourself approved to God, a workman that needs not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. 2 Timothy 2:15

 and one more,

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Philippians 4:8

I don’t know about you, but in my days of  running from Jesus Christ, my thoughts were exactly opposite of these things. But that’s how the Devil works. Taking the good things of God and twisting them, contorting them until they are no longer good and pure.

If you are not a Christian or if you are not sure you are a Christian, consider the “simple prayer” I said to God. It’s really that easy. The Bible says “all who call on the name of the Lord will be saved.” Romans 10:13. After you have confessed to God and accepted Jesus as your Lord and savior, dig into the Word of God. Read your Bible. Start the renewing of your mind process with a little self discipline and make every effort to read and absorb some scripture. Pray before you open His Book. Ask God to open your eyes to see, your ears to hear, your heart to accept what He has to say to you and open your mind for  restoring. I promise you that God will make good on His promise and that you will start to see positive changes in your life. Is it hard to do? YES! But it is worth every effort you put forth!

My sincere prayer foy you and for myself is that God restore all that Satan has stolen from us through the demon of addiction. I pray that He will reinstate structure to our lives and sanity to our minds. I pray for people to come into our lives that are positive in attitude, constructive to our healing, helpful and affirming of our faith and encouraging in our walk of being free of our life controlling problems.  I pray for a godly hunger for the Word of God! And I pray that as we eat from the table of the Lord, that through Your Word we are fed and we grow spiritually into more than we ever imagined. In Christ Holy name I pray, AMEN!

I know that this is a new voyage for most of us and that we need all the direction we can get. If you have questions, the Bible has answers. We may not always like what it has to say. But it is truth and sometimes the truth hurts.

If I can be of any assistance, please leave me a comment and I will try my best to give you Christian Biblical guidance. Thanks for taking time to read these words. I don’t think you are here by accident. I believe God has a plan for each of us. God bless you!!!

Although there were many circumstances and outside influences that contributed to my years of self-destructive lifestyle, ultimately it was my choice to maintain every hour of the same vicious circle of self medication to kill my inner thoughts and pain. Even though I continually wore a smile on my face, I had pain deep-rooted inside myself. I was a very angry person. I had feelings of very low self-worth and often wondered why I was even here on this vast earth. So started my pursuit of pleasure. My delusion of reality was teaching me that physical satisfaction and gratification would fulfill my search for happiness. I also found that modern-day chemistry has become very good at the art of covering inner struggle and pain through the compounding of chemicals. An even larger problem came to life when I learned to trust my substances rather than the One who created me and knows me better than anyone or anything. But my daily choice was to continue telling myself the lie that my private hurt  could be controlled through continually chasing the one thing that my body knew as my savior from inner turmoil.

The thing is, secrecy allows us to hide. When we leave the pains we carry deep inside and don’t deal with them, covering them in what ever way we choose, they soon become our “skeletons in the closet”. The more secrets or “skeletons” we  hide away the more likely we are to have a life controlling problem. The only problem with private concealment of our life is that everything is transparent to God.  He has seen every undisclosed action, every covert operation and every hush-hush situation that we hide from the world.  He knows every twinge of soreness that you feel. Every heartache, every veiled and tucked away anguish, every distress, sadness, sorrow and misery.

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Hebrews 4:15

This verse from the Holy Bible tells us that Jesus understands us. He walked this same earth that we walk. He is well acquainted with grief. If you can imagine one day a whole city loves you and hails you as their King. The very next day the same people, the ones you love immeasurably, turn on you and scream out against you to have you crucified on a cross. As He was beaten the crowd cried out more and more for Him to die. The only thing He was guilty of was loving these His people. Soon He was hanging from the cross, breathing His last breath.

But that is not the end of the story and it is not the final page in your book either. You see, Christ was born God in the flesh of a virgin by the name of Mary. (read Luke chapters 1 & 2) That is the real reason we celebrate Christmas! The child grew, taught many, gathered disciples, performed miracles and at the tender age of 33 was crucified and put to death. But this too was part of God’s sovereign plan. Three days in the grave he rose forth and defeated death and the Devil. He showed Himself to many, many people after this monumental event. He promised us that anyone who believes in Him and believes that He shed His blood for the forgiveness of our sins and that He raised from the grave will have the same everlasting life He has with our Father in Heaven. (read John chapter 3 verses 16-18)

What does this have to do with me and my inner turmoil?  I’m glad you asked!

What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long;we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:31-39

I’m not trying to say that the pain we feel is not genuine. On the contrary, it is all too real! What I am saying is that Christ Jesus can take your hurt and give you so much more to live for.  He can take your hidden sins and forgive them. He will take your despondency and give you joy. He will take your skeletons and give you new life. Please don’t carry all that stuff around with you any longer. Just pray this straight forward prayer with an honest and truthful heart.

Father God, Thank you for loving me even when I have been unlovable. Thank you for dying for me when I should be the one to die. Please forgive my sin and give me new life. Make me new and help me to love You and serve You with all my heart. I accept you into my heart and my life as my Savior. Help me to forgive those who have wronged me just as you have forgiven me. Show me how to live in the freedom that only you can give and give me peace in my soul. Thank you Lord! In Christ Jesus name I pray, AMEN!

John 6:37 says, ” Whoever comes to Me I will never drive away.”  

If you prayed this prayer whole heartedly, I welcome you to the Family of God! You are “born again” and starting a life as a child of God. (John 1:12) You have entered into a personal, one on one relationship with God Almighty, the Creator of all things. He loves you and will help you to live each day for Him. (John 14:26, 15:26 and 16:12-15)  

I do recommend that you read a portion of the Bible each day and pray the God will open your eyes to see what He has for you, your ears to hear what He has to say and open your heart to accept it. Seek out a good Bible believing church to worship at and to grow in your new faith. If needed, please find a Christian counselor or your Pastor at church to help you with the deeper issues.

If you need some advice or direction in your newfound life with God please leave me a comment and I will be more than happy to give you some Christian guidance. My sincere prayer and desire is for all people who struggle and are bound with life controlling problems to find  freedom that is only available through a relationship with Christ Jesus our Lord.

I am ecstatic that God has chosen me to be a part of something that is larger than myself. Something bigger than my little world. Something that has the possibility of impacting others in a positive way. Occasionally I get wrapped up in me. My daily routine of  sleeping, eating, work, football practice with my son, church and so on. Please don’t take me the wrong way. These things are necessary to existence. And routine is a good thing for a former addict. But as I grow closer to God and increase in my faith, I realize that I have to decrease so that God can increase. The things I want are not always what God would have from me. And so I return again to one of my favorite scriptures.

Then Jesus said to them all, ‘If anyone would come after me he must deny himself, take up his cross daily and follow me.'”  Luke 9:23

Deny myself? Does this mean no more Brian? Of course not. God created each of us in His own image. (Genesis 2) We all have individual characteristics and personality traits that make each of us the person we are. I think what Jesus was trying to say here was denial of sin. We are born into sin. Throughout our natural life here on earth we tend to attach ourself to things that we desire. Not necessarily the things that God would have for us. So we make a decision that we can choose what we want. The things we want that will fulfill our own cravings and yearnings. We come to the earthly conclusion that we can decide what is best for us without first seeking knowledge and wisdom from our Heavenly Father. 

“For everything that is in the world: the desire of the body and the lust of the eyes and the pride of temporal life, these are not from The Father but these are from the world.”  1 John 2:16

I believe we all know that illegal drugs are bad for us and just plain wrong. The same can be said for sex, alcohol, eating too much food and so on. God is not asking us to give up who we are. He is simply requesting that we yield ourself to Him. Reject those things in life that we know are wrong. Resist the enticement that daily haunts you. Deny yourself that immoral action or thought. And give thanks to God that He has given you the ability to overcome and persevere through the temptation. Of course it is a hard task. Especially when we have spent so many years programming our mind and body to give in at every whim.

The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure. 1 Corinthians 10:13

God is faithful. As a Christian, he is more that with us. The Bible says He is IN us. (2 Timothy 1:14) And in John chapter 14 Jesus promises us the gift of the Holy Spirit who dwells in all who believe. He is alive right here inside all of us who follow Christ!

So my proclamation of thanksgiving this November 2011 is completely and entirely to God. For His perfect plan to bring me, a sinner, back to Him through His love, grace and forgiveness through the precious blood of His Son Jesus Christ. For His Holy Spirit who lives within me. For the strength, comfort and joy He gives me from the time I wake daily until the time I go to sleep. And for the promise of my salvation, my guaranteed spot in heaven and my name being written in the Lambs Book of Life!

If you don’t know Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and savior and you have the sincere desire to change your lifestyle, to have the inner power to beat addiction and to live a life free of addiction, start by saying an uncomplicated and effortless prayer such as this:

Heavenly Father, I know that I have done wrong toward you, toward  myself and toward others.  I believe that Jesus came to earth and gave his sinless life on the cross for me so that I can be forgiven. I sincerely ask for your forgiveness. Please make me clean and help me start a new life with you. I receive you into my life and my heart right now as my Lord and Savior. Fill me with your Holy Spirit and help me to love you with all that I am and to follow you with all of my heart. In Christ Jesus name I pray, AMEN.

Now that you have taken this first step toward your new life with Christ, you may need some sense of direction. My suggestions are to give thanks to God every day, pray daily and talk to God about everything in your life and ask Him for strength to carry on with your Christian life, read a portion of God’s word, the Bible daily and find a Bible believing nd teaching church that you can become part of. Talk to the pastor and tell him of your newfound faith. And think about getting baptised.

If you just don’t know where to turn, please leave me a comment and I will be more than happy to give you some Christian guidance and direction. My hearts sincere desire is for the chains of addiction to be broken and for all to find freedom and empowerment through Christ Jesus our Lord!