August 10, 2010 I celebrated 3 years clean and sober. This is a monumental event in my life. I never thought I could see one or two days sober much less over 1000 days!
The following is an entry from my journal just before I gave my life to Christ and got clean:
Life is not easy, free of worry or pain nor is it warm and fuzzy. Quite the contrary. Human nature dictates that we be “Hurculean”. Holding the world atop our shoulders as would Atlas. But we are not Grecian mythological gods. We are mere human beings. We may start out strong, possessing the strength to hold the world high. But from day to day we let it slip…”Well, it’s Wednesday, I can relax a little…Now it’s Thursday, I’m tired, I can let it fall a little more.” Be this far from the truth! We must continually fight the meanness, cruelty and sharpness of addiction. Day to day we possess the burden of the colossal mistakes we have made. To find the durability within ourselves to carry out the task of sobriety will not only stregthen our body and mind but also our soul.
As I read this now I remember how much I wanted to quit drinking and doing drugs but how powerless I was to my addictions. No matter how hard I tried I never had the strength to stay sober. I could stay sober for a few days, maybe even a week but I consistently found myself back at square one, starting all over again.
One night I broke. I cried out to God and told Him I can’t do this. I am too weak and I need help. I need forgiveness just as I need to forgive. I need strength!
At that moment I new more than anything that God was with me, that He loves me, that He had forgiven me and that He was there to help me. Since then I have not had a drink, smoked cigarettes or any kind of drug, snorted or IV’d any drugs. God has delivered me from these addictions and given me a new life.
I also know that any day I could make the concious decision to return to my former life. It is a day to day decision to be sober.
Luke 9:23 “Then He said to them all,’If anyone would come after me he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me'”
Leaving addictions requires denying yourself and a daily decision.
If you want to get clean and sober and STAY that way you have to make the decision that you want to. Have a talk with your Creator and tell him you want to. Tell him you can’t do this on your own and that you need His help. Tell God that you know you have wronged Him as well as others and you need to be forgiven. And ask God for His help.
Now that you’ve done that please seek out a church, pastor or Christian counselor that can help you along your newfound road. Sobtiety is a new journey for some of us and we need all the direction we can get!
If you don’t know where to turn please leave me a comment and I will direct you in the right direction!
God bless each and every one of you who share this struggle and my prayer for you is to accept Christ into you heart and your continued sobriety!
Brianssobriety Blog 
Congradulations on you first 3 of many years.
Thanks a million!
Brian, I am certain your blog is going to help alot of people who read it. I think I have been beginning to see in the last year how hard it was for my son and how much he wanted to be free. I wish he had had that chance to make it to rehab again and see what would have happened. Just one more day and he would have been there…
Debbie, Addiction is a weird and terrible vice sent by Satan to enslave us. There is Freedom in Christ but it has to be chosen. But I do believe that with you last breath you can still accept Christ as your Lord and Savior just as the man on the cross beside Jesus. “Jesus said to him, ‘I can guarantee this truth: Today you will be with me in paradise.'”
Luke 23:43.
There are so many lost in our world. Let’s share the Good News of Christ with them all! I think God has no greater joy than a lost soul be saved.
I thank God for your faith and pray that He will use you to lead more to His Kingdom. I also pray for you strength and comfort. In Christ name. AMEN
Yes, Brian I certainly agree. God saves even at the last opportunity. Thankfully, Dane was raised in a christian home all his life and had re-dedicated his life just a year before his death and was baptized again while he was at Damascus (rehab) But, during the next year he fell back into some old ways…. though I can say it was never as bad as it was before he had gone to Damascus, it was still keeping him in bondage. We had talked to him about going back to Damascus again and he agreed he needed to to continue to work on staying and living sober. But the night before he was supposed to go, he was out on his motorcycle, driving like he shouldn’t have been….. on his headstone I have an entry from his journal from the previous year at Damascus.
It basically says that he was happy to be back in the Lord’s presence and know where he was going when he died. There were godly people who came on the scene and have told me they knew God was there without a doubt and that he was peaceful…. it helps me to know this.
I can’t imagine. I am so thankful for both of my children and more so for their faith in God. If there is any comfort I would think it would be in the fact that Dane was born again and that he is with our Lord right now. My heart goes out to you Debbie. If there’s anything I can do or you need someone, I’ll always be here for you.
God bless you and yours!
Love in Christ
B