August 10, 2010 I celebrated 3 years clean and sober. This is a monumental event in my life. I never thought I could see one or two days sober much less over 1000 days!
The following is an entry from my journal just before I gave my life to Christ and got clean:
Life is not easy, free of worry or pain nor is it warm and fuzzy. Quite the contrary. Human nature dictates that we be “Hurculean”. Holding the world atop our shoulders as would Atlas. But we are not Grecian mythological gods. We are mere human beings. We may start out strong, possessing the strength to hold the world high. But from day to day we let it slip…”Well, it’s Wednesday, I can relax a little…Now it’s Thursday, I’m tired, I can let it fall a little more.” Be this far from the truth! We must continually fight the meanness, cruelty and sharpness of addiction. Day to day we possess the burden of the colossal mistakes we have made. To find the durability within ourselves to carry out the task of sobriety will not only stregthen our body and mind but also our soul.
As I read this now I remember how much I wanted to quit drinking and doing drugs but how powerless I was to my addictions. No matter how hard I tried I never had the strength to stay sober. I could stay sober for a few days, maybe even a week but I consistently found myself back at square one, starting all over again.
One night I broke. I cried out to God and told Him I can’t do this. I am too weak and I need help. I need forgiveness just as I need to forgive. I need strength!
At that moment I new more than anything that God was with me, that He loves me, that He had forgiven me and that He was there to help me. Since then I have not had a drink, smoked cigarettes or any kind of drug, snorted or IV’d any drugs. God has delivered me from these addictions and given me a new life.
I also know that any day I could make the concious decision to return to my former life. It is a day to day decision to be sober.
Luke 9:23 “Then He said to them all,’If anyone would come after me he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me'”
Leaving addictions requires denying yourself and a daily decision.
If you want to get clean and sober and STAY that way you have to make the decision that you want to. Have a talk with your Creator and tell him you want to. Tell him you can’t do this on your own and that you need His help. Tell God that you know you have wronged Him as well as others and you need to be forgiven. And ask God for His help.
Now that you’ve done that please seek out a church, pastor or Christian counselor that can help you along your newfound road. Sobtiety is a new journey for some of us and we need all the direction we can get!
If you don’t know where to turn please leave me a comment and I will direct you in the right direction!
God bless each and every one of you who share this struggle and my prayer for you is to accept Christ into you heart and your continued sobriety!