I was taught right from wrong while growing up. It was literally beaten into me. So, when I decided to start doing drugs at age 11 I knew it was wrong. I knew but didn’t care. I justified it by thinking the punishment couldn’t be any worse than any of the beatings I had received for the last 8 or 9 years. I was tired of my life and wanted something different. Drugs offered me just that. Something different. And the harder the drug, the better it was for me…or so I thought. After my first experience with IV drugs, diluadid, I was hooked. Soon it was tar heroine. After a while I decided that the heroine was getting out of control and I quit. Just like that, quit. Yes I had some withdrawals and they were no fun at all, but when the sickness passed, I was ok. I didn’t touch that boy again for some years. Bouts of cocaine and speed came next. I prided myself on the sheer ability I had to quit. But I continued to smoke, drink and do pills excessively. My rationalization, I know exactly what they will do, what to expect and how much I could do. I tried to quit these but couldn’t.
The Bible refers to this state as being “in the world”. These are worldly thoughts and actions. 1 John 2:16 says’ “For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world.” (New Living Translation) Another version says it like this, ” The lust of the eyes, lust of the flesh and the pride of life…” My craving for physical pleasure overwhelmed me. Once you get caught in this trap, escape is necessary but impossible. You want out but can’t find the door. God’s word also tells of Moses and his desire not to enjoy “the pleasures of sin for a time” ( Hebrews 11:25) All these drugs could make me feel good…but only for a time. They always wear off and leave you empty and wanting more.
The only way to be freed of this snare is to make peace with your Creator, God Almighty and in so doing find peace for yourself. And the only way to do this is through His Son Jesus Christ. The only true fulfilment I have ever found for myself is God’s Holy Spirit living in me, knowing that everything I have ever done has been forgiven and that God accepts me…just as I am. Don’t try to clean up for God. Come to Him just as you are. He is the one that will clean you up!
Think about a refrigerator full of rotten vegetables and putrid meat. You clean the fridge, throwing all that nasty stuff in the trash. Wipe down the inside and get it all clean. GREAT! But you sill have one problem. Now your house stinks because of all the rotten garbage in that can! You have to take out the trash. If you are the fridge, God cleans you out and makes you spotless but you may still have a little work to do taking out all that old garbage and getting rid of it. But don’t worry, God gives you His Spirit to help you.
Let’s see if I can walk you through this.
Step 1. Have a heart to heart talk with God. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy. Just tell God that you know you have done wrong by Him, you have wronged others as well as yourself. Tell Him your genuinely sorry. Ask Him to forgive you. Tell Him that you accept His gift of salvation through Christ His Son. Ask Him for help. Just use your own words and lay it all out in the open. There, you did it!
Step 2. Find a Church, pastor, counselor or just a good solid Christian brother or sister that can direct you in the right direction to grow in your newfound Christian life. Remember that everything may not change overnight. As you grow in your walk with Christ you life will change and God will help you get all the trash taken out.
Your on the right track. Now, if you don’t know where to turn please leave me a comment and I will direct you in the right direction!
God bless each and every one of you who share this struggle and my prayer for you is to accept Christ into you heart and your continued sobriety!